why bacon could bring about world peace.

what’s one of the things that most people in the world are worried (at least a little bit) by?

war.

people are afraid of conflict. bottom line. end of story.

aside from people who follow the Jewish faith and Muslims, a great majority of the world is involved in the latest bacon craze. albeit the bacon craze isn’t the first one, nor will it be the last one, the issue at hand is “why is bacon so important to us?”

regardless of what you think or feel, bacon is a wonderful thing. it’s a beautiful part of the macrosystem known as Earth. it’s tasty, delicious, good for you, bad for you, and best part of all, it’s slowly permiating our entire palette.

i recently hosted a “bacon fest” at my house. at the party, we had all types of food that contained bacon in some capacity. bacon-wrapped jalapenos, bacon cheese dip, bacon potato salad, bacon pinwheels, bacon chocolate-chip cookies, and chocolate-covered bacon. there were more things planned, but other circumstances stopped the full menu from being created. why am i telling you this? because it was fantastic. also, because without bacon, none of it could’ve happened.

bacon is an integral part of society. you can do pretty much anything with bacon, including eating it by itself. DELICIOUS!

i’m starting to lose track of myself now, but the bottom line is that an average person cannot go a day without seeing or hearing a reference to bacon.

without bacon, i theorize that war would probably escalate. talk about a war on terror! no bacon would be the REAL terror. and speaking of terrorists (in a totally non-politcally correct way), the reason Muslims are also so pissed off at everyone is because they can’t eat bacon!

to sum up: if everyone were able to increase their rations for bacon on at least a weekly basis, i’m sure the world as a whole would be happier.

5 reasons why PETA needs to stop.

5 reasons why PETA needs to stop.

anyone who eats meat (or watches tv) can tell you they know about PETA, but does anyone REALLY know what they think they know? PETA was founded in 1980 by Ingrid Newkirk and Alex Pacheco. Their ideals (at the time) were noble: protect the rights of abused and mistreated animals. That ideal; however, has been horribly skewed over time. Bordering on the sociopathic and obsessive.

now i’m all about treating animals ethically, hell i’ve got 3 dogs myself, however i still eat meat and so do they. am i crazy? a little. am i jerk? probably, but humans were made for eating meat.

let’s begin.

5. they are trying to destroy the fast-food industry.

“but fast food is bad for you!”

very true, i certainly won’t argue that point, but it’s also our freedom to eat there, despite what they serve. just like the guy who tried to sue the candy companies for making him fat. the company doesn’t make you fat, you eating a dozen ham-covered, deep-fried Snickers makes you fat. if you don’t like how KFC or McDonald’s treats their animals (or really, the supplier of their meats, then don’t eat there! easy fix. do a personal boycott, but don’t try to take over the company.

did you know that PETA buys large shares of companies such as Wendy’s, McDonald’s, Burger King, and Kraft Foods in order to get them to listen to them? hmmmm sounds like blackmail.

also sounds like something another “company” likes to do ($cientology, anyone?).

which brings me to my next point:

4. they hinder progress

their motto is “animals are not our to eat, wear, experiment on, or use for entertainment.” okay, that’s not a bad motto except it’s missing one word “excessive”.

many people fail to realize that without animal testing, humans would have very few medications, and probably would just now be entering the “space race”. when was the last time you took a family member to a hospital for a surgery? well if not for animal testing, you probably wouldn’t have been able to save your family member’s life. also, forget about the ability to give blood to anyone, let alone worry about a heart transplant. you’re SOL, buddy. move on.

in terms of “entertainment”, their definition could be anything. is playing catch with your dog a form of entertainment? yes. is dressing a pet up in a silly costume entertainment? yes. is watching Air Bud entertainment? i don’t think so, but i know some people do. so you’re going to go after Disney for a classic like Homeward Bound? gtfo.

“animals are not ours to eat”

stfu. yes they are. humankind has been eating animals since the dawn of time. also, ANIMALS have been eating animals? you want to feed your pet snake tofu? go right ahead, but don’t call 911 when it tries to bite the hand that feeds it. wild dogs and feral cats don’t eat berries and grass (unless they’re sick), and neither should we (at least not entirely).

“animals are not ours to wear”

okay, i kind of understand this point, with the invent of the cotton gin, and the creation of other synthetic fibers, we don’t necessarily need to continue to use fur for clothing; however i don’t see why ruining the fur of a dead animal with paint is helping anyone. if anything, you’ve just made that animal’s life even more of a waste. at least before it was going to be worn. now it’s going into the trash can. great job, PETA!

3. PETA wants you to stop eating bacon.

’nuff said.

2. ties with ALF (Animal Liberation Front) and ELF (Earth Liberation Front)

the FBI has identified both groups as agents of domestic terrorism, yet in 2005, US Senator Jim Inhofe criticized PETA for giving grants to activists from both groups.

“SLANDER!!”

not if it’s a fact. and even though at one point PETA responded as saying “it had no involvement in ALF or ELF actions and does not support violence”, but even co-founder Newkirk has made it clear that she supports the removal of animals from various facilities including the use of illegal actions to do so.

1. PETA kills animals.

“YOU LIE!”

in this instance, i certainly wish i were, but i’m not. according to records from the Virginia Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, PETA has killed more than 25,000 animals (mostly dogs and cats) since 1998.

“YOU LIE AGAIN!”

the fact that PETA claims to be a shelter for unwanted animals is true. to a point. they take in abused animals and hope for adoption. but they have a relatively poor adoption rate, and end up euthanizing an average of 85% of the animals that trot through their wonderful doors.

in fact, since 2006, they’ve had an average yearly adoption rate of 1%. another 3-4% get transferred elsewhere, but ever wonder what happens to the other 95%? well, you don’t have to anymore, because they are no longer with us. in fact, a review of nearly 300 PETA custody records indicates that 84% percent of the animals it took in were killed within 24 hours.

http://www.petakillsanimals.com/downloads/peta_inspection.pdf

wow, that’s pretty quick! even faster than the people that previously owned said animals. that’s a shame, because those awesome ads of naked celebrities always grab my attention.