Bacon Cinnamon Rolls

yes, you read that correctly. and why not? everyone knows i love bacon, so now i have an excuse to bake cinnamon rolls! instructions are relatively simple:

step 1: COOK BACON

it’s like edible porn…

the key to this step (and probably most important) is to NOT FULLY COOK THE BACON!! you’re going be putting it in the rolls, so it’s going to be COOKED MORE. simple?  okay. just make sure it’s cooked just enough to eat, but still plenty “wobbly”.

step 2: CUT ROLLS

cinnamony goodness

now, it really doesn’t matter what kind of rolls, but as you can see here, i have the normal sized ones (which are more like discs). these don’t come rolled, so i had to use a knife to cut them into rolls. the grands you can buy at the store normally come so you can more easily unroll them. but it’s your choice. if you use grands, i suggest doubling up the bacon.

step 3: ADD BACON!!

the merger

quite simple. unroll roll, re-roll with bacon.

voila! it’s magic

step 4: BAKE!!

in go goodies, out come AWESOME

for this step, follow normal baking instructions that come with the rolls. i did the minimum listed on the label (11 min at 400, and then turned down to 375 for the last couple of minutes), and they came out PERFECT!

which brings us to our final step:

step 5: FROST AND EAT!!!

drenched in lovely…

i’m too busy stuffing my face right now to add more commentary, this is delicious and you need to make some NOW.

BREAKFAST OF THE GODS!

Super Stuffed Jalapenos

Jalapenos are a great snack, and i’m sure most of you have had jalapeno poppers at any restaurant or tailgating event. they’re great for toppings, dips, and anything in between. so i decided one day to kick these little bad boys up a notch.

SUPER STUFFED JALAPENOS.

Step 1: ingredients, ASSEMBLE!

that’s right. you see hotdogs…

i know what you’re thinking: “hot dogs? what the fluff is wrong with this guy?”

not only that, but we’re putting shredded cheese and JALAPENO cream cheese in it as well! holy god!!

the most important thing to consider is making sure your jalapenos are big enough. you gotta get those huge ones, not the dinky little pinky-sized punks. then you take a small knife and cut out that seeds and spiny thing in the middle.

next simple step?

Step 2: STUFF!

mmmmm…. cheese

i love cheese, you love cheese. ’nuff said. but we need MORE!

MOAR CHEESE!

after this step, you should be able to stuff a hotdog cut in half into it. of course, you’ll probably need to use toothpicks to keep the ‘dog in, but that’s fine because if you’re like me you’re going to finish things up with this next gorgeous step.

Step 3: MAKE MORE AWESOMER

zOMG, BACON!!

that’s right, wrap those meaty bad boys in some bacon, and top with cheese! i mean really? it’s fantastic, and there’s literally no reason you shouldn’t make this the next time you are watching your favorite team put the hurt on some whiny little punks. so just make sure your oven is set around 300 degrees, and cook for about 15min (or until bacon is cooked to your liking).

final step:

ENJOY!

have you seen a more delicious-looking snack anywhere? i need to cut this blog short, because i’m inches away from licking my screen. have fun out there!

The Unnecessary Burger

if you are working hard on a diet, vegan, or otherwise against foods that are bad for you, i implore you to STOP READING right now.

 

for those of you who don’t care, or find these things interesting, please continue.

okay, so around the office (and before i started trying to eat healthier) i’m known as our primary bacon-lover. all things bacon, i either find out about first, or try first.

(yes, i’ve even tried Jack-In-The-Box’s Bacon Shake (and it was pretty good))

anyway, in my quest to create and experiment with new foods, my gf and i decided to create The Unnecessary Burger.

why title this burger as such? well i has at least 3 unnecessary steps in it to achieve artery-clogging goodness.

Step 1: COOK BACON

BACON!!!

now honestly, this is possibly the most necessary step to achieve the Unnecessary Burger. i mean, bacon’s sweet savory deliciousness is beyond compare. i have literally had days where i’ve just cooked a whole pound of bacon and based the day’s entire meal plan around that. it’s meaty and fantastic! but most importantly, save the grease for the next few steps!

Step 2: cook meat patties in bacon grease.

like swimming in a vat of awesome

first unnecessary step here. the only reason man shouldn’t use a grill for making hamburgers is if they don’t have a grill, in which case they’re probably a woman in disguise (j/k). seriously, unless there is at least 4 feet of snow outside and you have a grill, GRILL YOUR DAMN HAMBURGERS!! in this case however, this step is completely unnecessary. except it’s awesome. ever had deep fried meats? of course you have! ever had that meat fried in bacon grease? i think not. two words: FLAVOR INFUSION.

now, on to the next unnecessary step:

Step 3: add more meat!

because a burger isn’t meaty enough on it’s own

holy god in heaven. does a hamburger NEED more meat? simple answer: no. but this is totally unnecessary, so that means it’s go time. i had pepperoni, and needed a reason to eat it with dinner (without the hassle of making a pizza). then i came to the next problem: how do you keep pepperoni from sliding off that sweet piece of heaven?

CHEESE.

CHEESE!!

most people want cheese on their burgers, and this burger is clearly no exception, also it’s important for proper food adhesion.

Step 4: ADDING THE BACON!

seriously, could this burger get any better?

time to put that delicious bacon to use. throw it on that cheesy goodness, and they will stay put! thankfully, we’re almost done here, so you don’t have to be putting yourself through the hell that is not being able to eat this yet… but then, once the burgers are done, what do you do with all that leftover grease? DO SOMETHING UNNECESSARY. get those buns, and soak up some of that grease while it’s still hot! who likes toasted buns? EVERYONE. who likes bacon? awesome people. so everyone awesome should enjoy a good toasted bacon grease-soaked bun!

its the only thing angels eat in heaven…

so there you have it. The Unnecessary Burger, now if you’re anything like me, you probably gained a pound (of cholesterol) just from reading this. but rest assured, this was a fantastically delicious creation, but i could honestly not eat one of these more than once a month without needing a stint put in.

enjoy.

The Breakfast Enchilada

so if my last post is any indication, i have a few fans of my interesting food ideas (hot dog-stuffed, bacon-wrapped jalapenos).

today’s post is no exception, ladies and gentlemen, i present to you THE BREAKFAST ENCHILADA.

i came up with this one drunken night, and my gf thought it was fantastic. basically it’s like a breakfast burrito, except much more amazing (and probably bad for you, but who cares?). there are a few optional steps of course, depending on your own likes and dislikes as far as breakfast foods are concerned, but here’s the basic steps:

STEP 1 (which is also optional, for those of you who don’t like potatoes)

HASHBROWNS

cook to desired crispiness...

now, the thing with hash browns is that some people like them super crispy, some people like them barely cooked. this is totally your option, so choose wisely.

STEP 2: BACON!

non-negotiable.

everyone loves bacon, and i’m certainly no exception. however, just like with hash browns, everyone likes them cooked differently. i like mine a little chewy, so that’s how i cooked them.

STEP 3:

EGGS!!!

mmmmm... so much protein! 😀

no breakfast entree is complete without eggs at some point, so BAM! here’s some eggs. i also tore the bacon into little bits and added some cheese. scrambling them up to perfection.

STEP 4:

cheese and veggies!!!

omg... it's amazing!

i know it’s hard to tell with all that cheese on top, but there is probably close to a cup and a half, or maybe two cups of veggies here. it’s a pretty even mix of onions, bell peppers, and jalapenos. the mexican veggie trifecta!

STEP 5:

GRAVY!!!

riding down the rails on a gravy train!!!

anyone who has ever had an enchilada, will tell you that it HAS to have gravy on it. so here we go! this is your basic out-of-the-packet, instant “homestyle” gravy. simple, and delicious.

STEP 6:

ASSEMBLY!

tastiness, ASSEMBLE!!

here, we’re using the small-size basic flour tortilla. fill to desired size, however, i would recommend not over-filling so you can easily fit everything in without tearing the tortilla.

packed like sardines, except not horrible tasting!

we put everything together in an aluminum baking dish, but you can use whatever you have handy. at this point, we also topped with a layer of cheese….

is your mouth watering yet?

then topped with a healthy level of gravy.

STEP 7:

BAKE!!

holy fluff, it's a masterpiece!!

i would say this step is optional, but it really isn’t. we baked the whole thing in the oven for about 10min at 300 degrees. this helps melt the cheese and thicken the gravy at the same time. basically it combines them into one super-delicious flavor shield of scrumptiousness.

STEP 8:

ENJOY!!!

nom nom nom nom nom!!!

this finaly step, is hands-down the most enjoyable. i find this creation to be GREAT for curing a hangover, however, they are very filling, so if you happen to make this recipe, make it for a group (like if you have a party, and everyone crashes at your place). if you make this the next morning, it’s like the party keeps going!!

in closing, i’d like to use this as proof that i came up with this idea. although i’m only just now posting the recipe, i actually made this for the first time about 4 months ago.

 

ENJOY!!

My Weight Loss Journey (Day 37 + weekend update!)

hello again, everyone! i’m trying to stay up to date with EVERYTHING, so here’s a few things that have been going on.

well, friday i had to wake up early and head down to Lubbock for monthly company training, which went well. in addition to the training, we had company pt, and i’m very pleased to say that despite not actually *running* on a track in at least a month, i was able to stay in the small group we had and run 5 miles at an average pace of 9min/mile

pretty intense, and i wasn’t really that tired afterward (although, now my legs are sore as hell!)

my weight has very very slowly been dropping again. last time i weighed myself, i was just barely over 153lbs… but then i also partied a bit friday night (two coworkers had birthdays during the week, so we kinda had to catch up :P)

needless to say, i was pretty damn hungover saturday, so not much was done at all, aside from some vacuuming and unloaded and loaded the dishwasher.

today has been much more productive!

i finally got around the filling in the garden and planting my best sprouts

for those of you wondering what should grow, i’ve got 4 spinach plants, and about a dozen bell pepper and hot pepper plants. so basically, i can make spicy salads 😛

 

in addition to that, i also got some more work done on my music. for those of you who don’t know, i am a musician, and although i do a lot of solo stuff, i’m technically still working on stuff for my band Prototype Theory. if for some reason you haven’t heard of us, you should check this out (because it’s pretty badass).

also, getting ready to get some gigs lined up in the area, so that should keep me busy too for a while, but i promise to stay active with the blog posts! (seriously!).

let’s see… what else? oh yeah, made some horrible snack food the other day. well, i say horrible, but it was DELICIOUS!!!

hot dog-stuffed jalapenos wrapped in bacon. MORE WIN THAN YOU CAN SHAKE A STICK AT.

here are a few pics

omg…. so freaking delicious.

 

anyway! that’s it for my update! catch you all on the flip side!

why bacon could bring about world peace.

what’s one of the things that most people in the world are worried (at least a little bit) by?

war.

people are afraid of conflict. bottom line. end of story.

aside from people who follow the Jewish faith and Muslims, a great majority of the world is involved in the latest bacon craze. albeit the bacon craze isn’t the first one, nor will it be the last one, the issue at hand is “why is bacon so important to us?”

regardless of what you think or feel, bacon is a wonderful thing. it’s a beautiful part of the macrosystem known as Earth. it’s tasty, delicious, good for you, bad for you, and best part of all, it’s slowly permiating our entire palette.

i recently hosted a “bacon fest” at my house. at the party, we had all types of food that contained bacon in some capacity. bacon-wrapped jalapenos, bacon cheese dip, bacon potato salad, bacon pinwheels, bacon chocolate-chip cookies, and chocolate-covered bacon. there were more things planned, but other circumstances stopped the full menu from being created. why am i telling you this? because it was fantastic. also, because without bacon, none of it could’ve happened.

bacon is an integral part of society. you can do pretty much anything with bacon, including eating it by itself. DELICIOUS!

i’m starting to lose track of myself now, but the bottom line is that an average person cannot go a day without seeing or hearing a reference to bacon.

without bacon, i theorize that war would probably escalate. talk about a war on terror! no bacon would be the REAL terror. and speaking of terrorists (in a totally non-politcally correct way), the reason Muslims are also so pissed off at everyone is because they can’t eat bacon!

to sum up: if everyone were able to increase their rations for bacon on at least a weekly basis, i’m sure the world as a whole would be happier.