the reappearance of Phalkon

hello hello everyone! it’s been FAAAAAAAAR too long since my last update, but i’m determined to make things right. i’ve been INCREDIBLY busy with life lately, and i shall do my best to give you all updates.

i know it’s been way longer than i care to admit, but i will promise to attempt at least one blog a week FROM NOW ON!

so to keep things organized, let’s start with an outline:

1. i’m single.
2. my “new” band is becoming very successful.
3. i finally got back to taking college classes.
4. i’ve lost weight (a lot), and it’s opening up some new doors for me.

1. “i’m single”
yes, sadly, it’s true. after a very long fight, and a lot of heartbreak, i broke things off with my fiancee a few months ago. we were together for a little over two years, and although were very much in love, had too many problems that we just could not overcome by our selves. i won’t lie, it really sucks, still hurts sometimes, but the bittersweet side of that is that lately, i’ve been able to focus more on *ME* and have been busting my butt to make my life better…. which leads me to part two:

2. my “new” band is becoming quite successful.

i believe the last time i blogged, i talked about joining these guys, and i’m happy to say that although we’ve gone through a few personnel changes in the past few months, we are still enjoying a lot of success! we’ve averaged about 3 shows a month (or more) for the past year, and still have multiple shows scheduled throughout the rest of the year. additionally, we are looking at sitting down in the studio near the end of February to record our first singles. AMAZING!

NEXT!

3. getting back in school.

yes, i finally got my head on straight again, and decided to get my booty back in school. i am now 3 classes away from my associates in business management, and will then move on to a bachelor’s in pysch. SUPER EXCITED, BUT NOT NEARLY AS MUCH AS:

4. losing weight, and opening new doors because of it.

so, as i had blogged last year, i was trying out those “weight loss drops”, and they were absolutely a waste of time and money. i’ve now been on Herbalife and have been working out much more and staying active, and have lost *20LBS IN LESS THAN 2 MONTHS*.

sweet baby jesus on a pogo stick! i’m finally below 150lbs (which i haven’t been in about 4 years), and part of this was motivation from A SHOT AT MODELING.

Backstory: when i lived in oklahoma, i met a lot of people, many of whom i still keep in contact with. one of those people is a lovely little lady who is a makeup artist. the photographer she works for was looking into getting some male models to expand her portfolio. my friend asked me, and i quickly said yes. this is what spurred me to lose the weight so quickly (and safely).

my first shoot was last weekend, and i already have another tentatively scheduled for the end of November.

*whew*

that’s a lot of stuff to happen in a year, and it’s not over yet! i’ve been immensely blessed with so many amazing things going on in my life right now, and will try my hardest to keep you all updated as well!

stay tuned…

My Journey (aka Day 40)

so this is now Day 40 of my Weight Loss Journey, and i’ve decided to once again rename this series of posts. why? because it’s not just about weight loss, this blog has transformed into a personal journal in general. it’s about life. my life. and the crazy stuff i’m doing.

it’s been probably years since i’ve done a meaningful blog, and that was back during the days of myspace (omg… myspace reference??? that tells you how long ago it was).

and now there’s just so much more you can do with a blog. you can link all of your networks together so incredibly that eventually everything you want people to hear *will* get heard. every one needs to know that they aren’t alone in the world. everyone needs to know that they’ve got someone out there who they can share a story with, someone they can help, or someone who just doesn’t know how to get out what they want to say.

i’ve been one of those people. before the days of blogging, i (like most people) had a diary. except my diaries were notebooks filled with poems and lyrics. being a musician turned into a form of therapy for me. and that therapy continues today.

one of my buddies in the office (john) is stretching his legs so to speak in this same way. he’s really good friends with another musician in town who’s making a really good name for himself and is certainly on the right path to stardom. anyway, he’s started writing songs with this guy, and finally got one of the songs he wrote played at this guy’s gig. he told me how awesome it made him feel, and i was proud of him, because i know how it feels. it feels damn good.

sometimes you just need to let things out in order to let go. you have to let go to move on. sometimes it’s much harder than you think, but once you make that initial step, the rest of the journey is easier.

and i’m not just talking about emotions (because that is a long post in itself), but everything. whether it be losing someone close to you (like a good friend of mine had happen last year when she lost her father to cancer), or an addiction, or even weight loss. there are so many simple things that eventually pile up to make that obstacle seem so enormous, that a person is just afraid to even start trying.

so i’m using this as my own personal stepping stone. not just for weight loss anymore, but for my personal and emotional journey. the ups, downs, ins, outs, and all the craziness in between.

hold on tight, it’s gonna be a crazy ride!

My Weight Loss Journey (Day 34)

first off, i would like to apologize for the sudden inconsistency in my blogs lately. work has been a biatch, and i’ve been under some stress lately.

ANYWAY, some quick updates on everything here and there:

1. i have stayed at a semi-constant 156.8lbs for the past few days, so i’m gaining muscle, and burning fat at a constant rate, apparently.

2. i was taped (for a BMI) yesterday morning and have lost an inch in my neck, and an inch and a half around my waist. so that tells me that although i have hit a weight plateau, i’m still losing overall mass.

i had a massage yesterday, and although i certainly needed it, it felt as though the therapist was trying to massage the table, and i was merely in the way. i had to have my girlfriend massage me AFTERWARDS because i hurt. but, i felt much better when i woke up this morning (although i was DEAD tired) to do Insanity.

Insanity is going well, i can certainly feel progression in my body. i wouldn’t say the exercise is getting easier, but i’m certainly able to get further through it before my body starts getting pissed off at me.

apparently, my company is supposed to have a PT test next month, so that will be excited to see physically just how much i’ve progressed. the last time i took a PT test with my company (which was about 6 months ago), i scored around a 270 (out of a possible 300), so it will be very interesting to see what results i’ll get.

i’m feeling very good about myself overall. i feel like other than when i was deployed, i’m actually pushing myself daily. i’m eating better, i’ve cut out sodas, i’ve cut back on alcohol (haven’t had a drink in 3 days. i usually only drink on the weekends now), i’m eating more fruits and vegetables (which will increase even more, once the garden takes off), and i’m seeing visible result.

all in all, i feel great doing this journey, and i’m certainly glad i started it now, before it got too much worse.

My Weight Loss Journey (Day 27)

so i’m writing this in the morning, and although this is more of a supplemental posting, i felt the need to do so because i kinda short-changed everyone with yesterday’s post.

i’m feeling good. bottom line. i’m nearing the 30 day mark, and although i’ll be extending this journey to 60 days (due to the Insanity workout being a 60-day workout plan), i feel that this weekend i will more than likely post a few photos (and maybe a few photos of my in-progress garden).

speaking of Insanity, i’m feeling like even in the course of a couple of weeks, i’ve made some massive progression. for those of you who don’t know, during Day 1 of the Insanity program, you have to do a Fit Test just to see where you are. yesterday, i took the Fit Test and did *much* better than Day 1.

my body is looking much more fit, and even though i’m staying between 155-156lbs, i’m looking more trim.

now THAT being said, i’m going to start adding more light workouts during the evenings and possibly some strength training including a little P90x on days i’m feeling extra pumped up.

my diet is much more balanced now. fruits, vegetables, grilled meats as much as possible, some milk, and eggs. also, a protein shake *every* morning, with at least 3 bottles of water during the day, and trying to lay off the alcohol even more (except during the weekends, of course… after all, i am human).

so i hope this all helps make up for missing posts the last few days. hope you all had a great Easter weekend, and hope the weekend coming up is safe, healthy, and full of fun!

My Weight-Loss Journey (Day 21)

i will again continue with “i’m still taking the drops”, but at this point i’m not giving much credit to it, since i’m keeping pretty much the same diet i’ve been doing all along (except now drinking prune juice daily (which IS DELICIOUS)), and now doing Insanity every morning.

today was no exception. i woke up early, did my stuff, and when i came home and weighed myself, i was 157.4lbs!! so i can pretty much say i’ve lost 10lbs in 20 days! 😀 i’m proud of myself, but it’s not enough! i want to get ripped! i’m hoping to lose at least another 5lbs by the end of the month, as well as get more ripped and defined (yowza!).

today after work i mowed the lawn, then let my dogs run around the backyard, chased them around for a good half-hour, then did some ab work (i’ll call that my second workout of the day).

i’m really digging being active again. i haven’t *wanted* to work out this much since i was deployed, and now i’m just wanting to do something all the time! it’s AWESOME. i think after i work out tomorrow morning, i’ll walk for a mile or so to get a good low-impact cool down, and still work it.

as far as the weekend goes, i’ll be upping my protein considerably (hellooooo, easter eggs!!). so i’ll be sure to do some weight training on that morning. get a good burn. gah! i just want to do so much now!

also, i practiced earlier (i play guitar, keyboards, and lead vocals in the band Prototype Theory), and boy was my arm getting tired from shredding! i gotta practice more, and hopefully get some gigs in town (but more about that later).

 

anyway, in closing, i hope everyone has a safe and happy easter weekend!

My Weight-Loss Journey (Day 19)

so i’ve decided to rename these blog entries since i’m no longer basing my weight-loss solely on he HCG drops.

i’ve begun to realize that these drops are probably intended more for people who are more than just 10+ pounds overweight, and geared towards those that are close to being obese. Am i trying to badmouth those people, or this system? no, i’m merely going to point out some basic things i’ve learned thus far on this journey.

HCG diet: if you eat only 500cal a day, you’re going to lose weight. you could sit in bed playing video games all day and would lose weight at 500cal a day. it’s not a “system”, it’s a fact. do the drops help? maybe. research proves that hormones ingested are broken down in the stomach, and not fully absorbed. does holding it under the tongue help? maybe, but i don’t think it’s the best way to go about it, since the shots were pretty much outlawed by the FDA.

hormone control aside, i do feel like i have a little more willpower and less hunger pangs to go and grab that tasty bag of doritos from the cabinet.

in it’s defense, i do think it helped with the beginning push, i feel however, that since i wasn’t obese, i plateaued very quickly, which is why i’m no longer calling this the HCG Journey. i’ve started working out (starting full-time on Day 18) doing the Insanity workout routines in the morning with my coworkers. so yeah, with these extra variables, i will in no way attribute my weight loss solely to the HCG drops. do they help? maybe, but my fear of muscle atrophy and overall mass deterioration has forced me to start working out, and changing my diet (mainly an increase in protein), to combat that.

having said that, i weighed myself yesterday morning (Day 18), and found that i was back down to 160.4lbs. AWESOME. my goal is to lose at least 10lbs in 30 days (although the Insanity program runs for 60 days, during which i will continue blogging, charting my weight loss, continue with before and after pics, and also the primary reason i changed the name of the blog entries). yesterday, my diet was pretty sparse, which surprised me, considering how hard i worked on day 1 of Insanity. breakfast was the usual tea, water, protein shake. lunch was pretty much water, a handful of peanuts, and a handful of various vitamins. pre-dinner snack was a boiled egg. dinner was a salad with extra veggies and eggs. delicious, and a high-protein day.

as for this morning (Day 19), after Day 2 of Insanity, i got home and weighed myself (before a heavy poop later in the morning (sorry)), and i had finally broken the 160 plane!! i weighed 159.8lbs! which is pretty amazing in itself, because i haven’t been at that level in at least 8 months (probably closer to a year).

so at this point, i’m really proud of myself, i’ve lost almost 8lbs in 19 Days, still have 11 Days, and hoping to lose at least another 5lbs if i keep up with my workouts. and i’m planning on doing Insanity in the mornings and P90x (minus Plyometrics and CardioX) in the evenings.

holy crap, i’m gonna wear myself out really quickly. def time to up the vitamins and protein!

GET RIPPED!

My Journey with the HCG Diet (Day 17 + weekend update!)

so i will go ahead and start this off by saying i took a couple of steps back this weekend, and this has by far been my worst stretch of days ever.

my station had an Annual Training Conference (fri-sun), and this was held at a very fancy hotel (with almost no “healthy” food alternatives in sight), and to top things off, in my haste, i forgot to pack my drops.

UGH!!!

so basically, torture all weekend. especially since there was a sports bar downstairs, and at one point during the weekend, i actually got a free order of bacon cheese fries (please don’t hate me).

although i tried my BEST to follow normal eating habits (tea for breakfast, water throughout the day), i couldn’t help but drink beer and gorge myself on the delicacies of the bar grub…  😦

so honestly, i can say i was surprised when i got home and weighed myself this morning, and had only gained 2lbs!!! not too shabby, considering i did nothing but sit and watch powerpoints all day and drink beer and cheese fries at night.  *sigh*

i promise to you all that i will get back into full swing of the exercise and dieting habits i once held. i have approx 13 Days left on this, and i’m determined to lose at least 5 more lbs.

so i’m kicking it back into gear with working out, and i must say that i feel like i’m losing overall body mass (in a good way, now). clothes are fitting better (button-up shirts don’t choke me anymore!), and my gf says my figure is getting better (speaking of which, i need to take mid-journey pictures!).

that’s all for now, i’ve got yard work to catch up on, and maybe a little bit of working out before dinner.

 

peace!

My Journey with the HCG Diet (Day 13)

Day 13…. wow

okay, to go back, Day 12 was another hassle of a day for me. one of my coworkers ordered pizza for the office. really? and of course, there’s still a big container of cookies and cupcakes in the break room. ugh….

i weighed myself yesterday morning and was just about 161.4lbs… so i’m starting to lose again. other than that, i worked out a little in the morning (chest and triceps, with a little bit of abs thrown in).

breakfast was a protein shake, followed by a bottle of water, then a serving of V8, and another bottle of water. lunch was a salad with a can of tuna. i had an apple for a snack, and dinner was another salad with a can of tuna.

pretty simple day, nothing too fantastic to talk about, except i’m proud of myself for not giving in to food temptations. ugh… oh! and i shared a bowl of popcorn before bed (had to watch some Walking Dead!!)

Day 13, i weighed myself this morning and was 160.4lbs!! pretty surprising since i’ve been upping my protein. i ran two miles this morning, but strangely, have been spending a lot of time in the bathroom all morning (yes, pooping…), so i’m pretty sure i might be at about 159lbs or less.

breakfast was the usual protein shake, bottle of water, and V8. not sure about how much time i’m gonna get on my lunch break, so i may just end up eating a bag of peanuts, to keep me away from the breakroom filled with sugary horrors.

as for dinner tonight? i’m not sure, but i know i’ll do my best to keep it healthy. i might swing by the store to pick up some more tuna or something. i don’t know. and i might take a walk. i’m really excited that i’m ACTUALLY losing weight, but again, judging by the diet, i personally feel it has little to do with the HCG drops (which i do take regularly, twice a day), and more with the diet. i mean come on. 500cal a day? of course you’re going to lose weight! i think if anything these drops work as a very slight appetite suppresant, and that’s it. i don’t feel extravagant weight loss. i don’t seem myself as fat, and that may be the problem, but i’m also just eating healthier, cutting down on booze, and working out. that will make anyone lose weight.  *sigh*

well, i’ll certainly keep everyone posted, i’m going to try to get my body measurements this week, as well as take some more photos for the “before, during, and after” section. take care everyone!

My Journey with the HCG Diet (Day 11)

okay, i feel all funky and out of the loop today. my day at work was busy as hell and i am literally about to just take a nap.

 

but i won’t.

 

i’ve been doing my best to keep ‘on the diet’, but i’m starting to believe more and more that the weight loss isn’t so much fat as it is muscle atrophy. case in point, i have been eating less, but increasing my protein (protein shakes, meat, nuts, etc…), and have begun to slowly gain weight. i weighed myself this morning at 162lbs. i have been drinking more water, and i had no alcohol the previous night.

my ingestion for yesterday was: protein shake for breakfast, bottle of water, serving of V8, bottle of water. for lunch i did “cheat” a little bit by having a fish basket from Dairy Queen (least of all the evils there?), didn’t eat the bread, but ate about half the fries (sue me), and for dinner, i had a salad and one of those chicken cordon bleu things from the freezer section at walmart, and a couple bottles of water. not horribly bad, but still under 1200 cal. i also had half a protein shake before bed.

weighed myself this morning at 162lbs. wtf.

this morning i worked out. i ran two miles, and for breakfast i had a protein shake, a bottle of water, a serving of V8, another bottle of water. for lunc, my gf brought me a salad. now, here’s where i did fudge quite a bit today, and i do feel really bad about it (so i will probably work out later tonight). we have a new guy in our company, and his wife loves to bake shit. so she comes in with 3 kinds of cookies, cupcakes, and some little no-bake cookies. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? i splurged horribly today and had two peanut-butter cookies, a cupcake, and a no-bake. i feel completely horrible for it, but i am human after all 😦

i haven’t had dinner yet, but will probably just eat a salad with tuna on it. don’t feel like digging my hole deeper. but like i said before, i’m beginning to believe these drops don’t actually do anything other than slightly suppress your appetite. which, i guess is good, but if you starve yourself, your body begins to use itself to sustain (meaning I’M LOSING MUSCLE, NOT FAT).

but! i will keep on this for the full 30 days and see what happens. wish me luck!

My Journey with the HCG Diet (Day 9)

hello hello! i hope everyone has had a great weekend thus far, i know i have. my weigh-ins this weekend have been still productive, but interesting as well.

as usual, i woke up and weighed myself first thing in the morning (without clothes, so as to be as accurate as possible), and was surprised that despite going out to the bar and drinking approx. 1 shot and 8 beers, i was DOWN to 160lbs!! astounding. of course, i also pooped a lot on friday. hmmmm.

yesterday’s eating was *maybe* a little more than usual, but i’m testing out a theory now. it was a beautiful day yesterday, so i decided to finish up some yard work: i wanted to dethatch my backyard. for those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s like this basically raking dead layers of grass clippings. and i have a decently sized backyard, so needless to say, i was tired. so for a late lunch, i had a protein shake. everything went well yesterday, aside from the addition of two beers before bedtime (Bud Select 55). here is a breakdown of my meal plan:

water (12oz)
tea (12oz)
egg w/ serving of V8 (8oz)
water x 3 (12oz)
corn (approx 1 cup)
half slice of turkey bacon
half a piece of toast (whole grain)
water
protein shake
water (12oz)
tea (12oz)
handful of peanuts
steak
broccoli w/ cheese
2 Bud Select 55

as you can see, not too bad. even the steak was one of those really thin-cut steaks, and i grilled it so as to take off more fat. however, when i weighed myself this morning, i was actually UP to 161lbs. which makes me begin to worry if some of the weight loss isn’t from muscle atrophy. i was physically active for about 3 hrs yesterday, and didn’t really eat too much until dinner. the protein shake was only powder and water. but it really concerns me that after all that, i’ve gained. i will try to be active today and have another protein shake at some point and see if it’s actually muscle weight i’m losing too, because that would just suck.

anyway, this is a short one, and i hope everyone has a wonderful rest of the weekend.